A SWORD AND A STONE

Nehemiah was at a loss for words. He stared at the messenger standing before him, with fear written all over his face. It was the second time this week. he could not believe that his rivals would go to that extent. first they tried to intimidate his men and now they were threatening them. What a cheek!
He furiously walked to the foyer leaving the stunned messenger behind. He knew he needed to make a decision and fast.

Just a few months before, Nehemiah had come back to his old town. His intention was to empower the local people and he had particularly felt disappointed by the old wall that lay in ruins years after the various attacks on his village. The attacks had left many of his family friends internally displaced while others had run off to the neighboring cities and villages. Still , others had been taken as slaves by their enemies. He was lucky that his family had been among the few that had escaped the village.
He had largely grown up in the city and had a good job with the government but he couldn't shake off the desire to go back to his people. His work colleagues thought that he was merely canvassing support to get himself a political office. But he knew better. In all the years he had been exiled, the memories of playing by that great wall never left his mind.
Nehemiah smiled as he remembered that one time when he was about ten years old, his friend Ezra had convinced him that over the other side of the wall lay all the cheese cake he would ever want. oh, he loved cheese cake. they spent the next several days throwing stones over the wall to ascertain just how high the wall is and then they decided at the end of the week that Nehemiah would try to climb over the wall and Ezra would keep watch and warn him in case his mother started looking for him. Well, he never got the cheese cake. what he got instead was a broken arm and a thorough beating from his mother. His mother. he missed her. since the war he had rarely seen her and he heard a few years ago from an acquaintance that she had passed on. He quickly wiped the tears welling in his eyes determined that he would rebuild that wall, if not for anything; then for the memory of his mother.

Nehemiah had gone to his boss and requested some leave so he could go back home and take care of business. He was pleasantly surprised when his employer not only approved his leave but also gave him access to all the government services that he would need.

'I will not let those foxes stop me' he said to himself.
'jude, come here quick!' he bellowed to the messenger that had been patiently waiting on the next instruction.
With the instruction given, Nehemiah walked back into the living with a satisfied smirk on his face. Revenge is sweet, he kept thinking to himself.

over the next months, with Nehemiah's strategy in place, the workers were able to build over half of the wall that had collapsed. they worked relentlessly day and night until the completion of the work. In a few weeks, it would be the dedication of the wall by the prophet Ezra and Nehemiah could not begin to imagine how they had come, the threats and intimidation they had endured and despite it all, they had come out victorious.
At the dedication ceremony, Nehemiah had to choke back the tears of appreciation as he recounted how the workers worked day and night with a sword on one hand and the building material on the other just so the wall would be completed and the people would have something to be proud of.

He looked at the wall built with a sword and a stone standing proud and majestic and at that moment he felt that all he had accomplished all he was called to do.

* * * *

the above is a true story as recorded in the annuls of history and retold from my perspective. It captures the essence of living a life with a purpose, a goal.

the truth is as we get down to living out our lives, we will have detractors, haters, naysayers, mockers...you name it. The minute you purpose to work out your gift and become a blessing to the generations after you, expect all hell to break loose.why, because pursuit of purpose is more spiritual than you ever imagine. You will battle with feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, sadness, rejection and a host of many others. You will meet people that will look at you straight in the face and tell you that you cannot make it. Oh, they will produce "evidence" proving that you are the least qualified for the task you are embarking on.
the thing is, you cannot stop to explain yourself, you cannot afford to listen to your detractors for their aim is to derail you. Keep forging ahead with your sword in hand and commit to finishing the good work began in your life.

whenever you feel discouraged, remember this story Nehemiah...an ordinary man that did an extra ordinary thing. Let his story strengthen you to keep fighting to get to where you need to be.
You might not be where you want but thank God you are not where you used to be.
Keep fighting. Keep going. Keep believing. Generations after you will celebrate your life.

m.

UNCOVERED GEMS-PART 2

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Alot can be said about nurturing talents and being all you are meant to be. The business of pursuing purpose cannot be over emphasized. The sole reason our hearts are still beating is because we have an assignment that we are yet to accomplish; until we get there, we have to keeping picking ourselves up. Everyday. We have to keep the candles of hope burning through out believing that though we might have missed it big time today, tomorrow is another day. And that tomorrow will be better than today. We have to believe that we will do better tomorrow.

I, sometimes have the tendency to place very high expectations on myself and beat myself up when i dont live up to my expectations. It gets very frustrating whenever i fall short of my 'list of thing to accomplish' which i set within a specific timeline. I have, however, over the years, learnt to forgive me for not meeting my sometimes unrealistic expectations. Am learning that a full life is not measured by age or status but by simply living out our lives from the inside out; Allowing what we carry to define us as opposed to waiting for external circumstances to define us.

Perhaps you have been there. That place of beating yourself up because you fell short of your expectations or maybe you fell short of another person's expectations.i cannot say enough that our talents don't work because we are perfect human beings but they work despite our imperfections.

The trailblazers in our generation are people that have constantly battled with issues in their lives but they did not allow this issues to define them, rather they purposed to rise despite the odds stacked high against them. they chose to believe in the riches of the treasure, the gem locked within them other than concentrate in the flaws of their character.

Working on our character is important but i think that it is a life long assignment and we will constantly fall short of if we keep comparing ourselves to others. Now, if we wait for our character to be perfected before we step into 'our call', then it will be a long wait. I am not saying that we should not care about our character and its effects on our lives. no, what i am saying is that even as we work on being better people; we should not let the whispers of our inadequacies muffle the shouts of our greatness.
It is your ordinariness that makes you unique, it is your commonness that makes you outstanding.

Your talent, not your physical imperfection, is what will be remembered years from today. Judging yourself based on physical attributes, intellectual capacity and socio- economic factors is greatly undermining the value of the talent that's locked within you. the point here is; you are not perfect, we get that. let me add this; no one is perfect. We are a sea of humanity plagued by weakness but strengthened by the grace of God.
Celebrate who you are as you journey to being the best that you can ever be. Work out your talents without apologies or shame.

be your best cheer leader and remember as you go up, you give others the opportunity to climb up as well.

m.

UNCOVERED GEMS

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.


I have for the past month listened consistently to a profound teaching that has challenged me to stop wading through the coastline and beachfront of my destiny and venture into the deep seas which though challenging and lonesome, has innumerable rewards and fulfillment. I listened to this word with awe and humility. I repeated to myself that this is it; it felt like it was the word that i had been waiting for; the turning point. I learnt that the thing that validates my dreams is my talent.

The thing is, many people are still waiting for other people to open doors for them. Like the man lying by a healing pool for thirty eight years, yes THIRTY EIGHT! Imagine everyday for 38 years waiting for a person out there somewhere to come and change your story. Let me back up a bit, this man was brought to the healing pool by dear friends who believed genuinely in their hearts that their buddy would get into the pool and get his healing and thereafter go about his business of life. It was the perfect plan. they might have positioned him strategically so he could be advantaged when the waters were stirred or maybe they left him at the back of the line.The point is they brought him to a place where he could get his miracle, his elevation, his turning point. Many times, i ask myself if this man wanted to walk bad enough. you see, in my opinion, his desperation would have created an atmosphere for his miracle. we are told he was lying by the pool. i ask myself many times, couldn't he have tried to roll over a few time till he falls in; there's no fear he could break his spine since he would be falling into a healing pool. the thing am driving at here is that this man waited for someone to usher him to his greatness while all along  he was right there, all he had to do was work his little strength and get his miracle.

Have you met people that are bitter and angry because someone did not usher them to their greatness? someone who still thinks its his parent's fault that he is not doing as well as he ought to or blaming their mentors for not making them who they think they should be. others blame their employers for not creating an atmosphere for them to thrive in the workplace yet others blame the system. We have a vast number of people walking in disillusionment and anger because they pegged their success on another person forgetting that they too have what it takes to be successful at whatever field they have been talented in.
on the same breath, i have met and read about people that have worked their talents so well that their treasure/talent became synonymous with their name.It is completely astounding to meet giants who are perfecting their talents everyday. this people realize that the success of yesterday is today's mediocrity and they go out of their way to work continuously on their talent. when i think about this kind of people, a few individuals come to mind; when i think about living in purpose, the late Dr. Miles Munroe comes to mind. When i think about leadership, John C Maxwell comes to mind. When i think about Excellence, Faith, Prayer and living life at the most optimal capacity while having a good time, i think of Bishop Allan Kiuna. When i think of womens ministry and especially raising the standard among women, i think of Rev Kathy Kiuna. When i think about emotional healing, forgiveness and hope, i think of Bishop T.D Jakes. When i think of physical healing, i think of Pastor Benny Hinn. when it comes to comedy and entertainment, Daniel Ndambuki comes to mind. Nelson Mandela comes to mind when i think of selfless political leadership. talking of industrialists, then Manu Chandaria comes to mind. Time fails me to talk about Oprah Winfrey, Chris Kirubi, Sir Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Terry Mungai, Lupita Nyong'o and many other individuals who have risen to the zenith just because they worked their talent. Its just that simple. your talent becomes one with your name.

Unfortunately, more people are busy admiring other peoples talents instead of working their own forgetting that their talent however small or insignificant it may look has the ability to move you from palaces to state houses, from Africa to Europe, from America to Asia...i mean your worked on talent will take you places you have only just dreamt about.

so now, why don't you just decide to do you. why don't you purpose to do that one thing that comes naturally to you.
remember the fundamental divine principle that money follows purpose. Engage the gear of your life that will bring fulfillment and passion.

m.

THE RISE OF THINKERS

Not long ago, my Bishop preached what i regard as a very powerful sermon. The Sermon was christened 'the rise of creators' and i had the rare privilege of sharing the same concept enunciated in the sermon to some amazing people but i still felt that this was more than just a message, it was Rhema from God's heart to our ears to rise from the balconies and overflows of mediocrity to the podiums of excellence and distinction.

The message was bold as it was insightful, it reminded us of this simple truth; God created the heavens and the earth in 6 days and on the 7th day he rested. the reason why God did not go back to work on the 8th day was simply because he had created Man, who in his image and likeness, was essentially a creator. A creator has the innate ability to see things things that do not exist as though they are already here, they simply create realities. You cannot create what you have not conceptualized in your mind and therefore before you can even create you must have the basic ability to THINK. i don't mean the simplistic engagement of the mind on trivial issues like the weather, basic needs or other mundane things; i am talking about sitting down with a pen and paper and thinking your way out of your problems.

The rudimentary principle of thinking  cannot be overemphasized. I heard some time back that God gave us brains so we could give him rest and i totally agree with that statement. i am deeply saddened whenever i see individuals living half-lives because they have left the other half of their life to unseen forces of nature or fate or 'the will of God' as some put it. There are those wallowing in poverty and depression, disillusionment and sadness all because they think that's how God would want it. the bible puts it succinctly 'beloved , i wish above all things that you prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers'. In my humble opinion, the prosperity of the soul refers to the physical prosperity. I have in my study of the Bible come across numerous verses that points to a God that wants to bless us. the question that begs to be answered then is- why haven't some of us prospered despite giving, praying and fasting? the truth is, the day you prayed the Lord spoke to you and said you are a millionaire and that you would be great. Now, why hasn't that Word come to pass, 10 or 5 or 7 years later considering that God is not a man to lie neither is he a son of man to repent? I will tell you this: When you prayed, what you got was direction, you were basically pointed in the right direction so you stop wasting time running helter skelter trying to find your true north. the minute you heard the Word, an obligation fell on you to pursue that word till it manifests in your life. Understand that it is your personal responsibility to pursue to fruition that Word you heard in your closet.

Hearing from God is a wonderful experience but what is more wonderful is working out the Word so that it produces fruit in our lives. After hearing the Word, ask yourself; what do i need to do now that i know what God is doing in my life. one self abortive statement that alot of us make is 'i am believing God for this and that'... and three years later you're still in the same position. my question to you would be why are you believing God to give you a blessing that he has already released into your life (Ephesians 1:3). i believe that you should instead be asking yourself, what do you need to do to get where God has already pointed you out to. God will always use what is in your hands (your skills , talents, expertise, gifts) as the bridge to cross you over from where you are to where you ought to be.

waking in distinction and honor demands that we engage our mind and think through our circumstances to where we ought to go. the anointing in your life simply empowers you. the anointing does do the work. You have to be the one to write the business proposal, its your feet that will take you to that meeting at State House, it is your mouth that will preach. Stop saying you are still believing God when God has already released everything you need to prosper, excel, fulfill purpose and leave a mark of distinction in our generation.

It is not everyone that wants to engage in this tediuos task of thinking and it therefore goes without saying its not everyone that will leave a mark in this generation but for those few individual that will roll up their sleeves, embrace moments of solitude to think then greatness will not have a choice but give way to such people. We need thinkers in the church, parliament and senate, boardrooms and classrooms for thinkers are the next breed of leaders that will make a notable difference in society.

Finally remember this; if you really want to do something, you will find a way, if you don't, you will find an excuse.

m.

BURDENS

‘Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people’- Karl Marx

Life is a school and being the ever willing learner, I must confess that I take every opportunity that life throws my way to learn superior truths, to unbuckle the belt of half truths, cleanse my mind off the regurgitated information shouted down at me in my formative years and free my soul from men’s perception of me which is NOT a reflection of God’s perception towards me.

In my quest to move towards more noble goals that fertilize my soul, I have resolved to ditch "state theologians" whose representation of an erroneous gospel seeks to justify the status quo, capitalism and totalitarianism. They bless injustice, canonize the will of the powerful and reduce the poor to passivity, obedience and apathy. It holds people in bondage, manipulates trusting souls and preys on the gullibility of the needy. It is a shame that the people that have been tasked with a most sacred duty have taken to fleecing innocent albeit ignorant people. They lure them by capitalizing on their emotions and they base their teachings on emotionalism/sensationalism knowing the ignorant desperate masses feed off the weekly emotional highs. It is a sorry sight -seeing the masses enriching individuals while they languish in poverty, their children attend public schools while their so called ‘prophets’ are sending their children to exclusive private schools paying school fees enough to light an entire village.

The recent expose of an East African clergy who coaches a section of his membership to claim he works miracles in order to cash in is just but a tip of the iceberg on the moral decay and compromise in institutions of worship.

Charismatic religion has crept into our churches and while it is different from the religion we were taught to shun and abhor, this new form of religion has disguised itself in tongues, polished accents, designer clothes and opulent lifestyles. There is nothing wrong with speaking in tongues, having a polished accent or even wearing designer, in fact, every individual should pursue the finer things in life but the problem comes in when the pursuit of this things is accompanied by manipulation, intimidation and fear all in the name of God.

I am dismayed at the brain washing forced on simple people to place the value of religion on men, false prophets who demand congregations to offer them accolades in order to validate their positions in society. This clergy basks in the glory of the attention afforded to them by the unsuspecting crowd and they lewdly allow the people they have ostensibly been called to, elevate them instead of pointing this folks to God.

Organized religion and abusive leadership attempts to control people, instills fear, manipulates them, if "you fail to file your tithe tax, God will allow diseases and destruction by the devil to occur in your life"! (Tithe is right; we should pay our tithes, for the record) If you don't pray enough, spend your Fridays in all-night prayer vigils, go to church every Sunday; sow financial seeds beyond your income and if you failed to offer your priority time in service to the church, HE (God) will not bless you. The people under control fear to question the powers that be thinking that questioning such individuals is questioning God. We now have a clergy with bloated egos that’s sitting on God’s seat and casting judgment and aspersions on the laity. It is not the ‘do not sin or you go to hell..’ kind of judgment.  It far worse.  It’s emotional, psychological and mental. They tell the laity that their lives are intertwined with theirs (the parishioners) and if they leave the church; they will in essence be jeopardizing their destinies. I understand the concept of a spiritual midwife but if I am afraid of questioning the actions of my spiritual midwife or prophet or father then how is that different from a dictatorial system of governance.

Religion threatens people with holiness, righteousness and fasting obligations that people mostly don't measure up to. In Jeremiah 6:13-14 we read again of self-absorbed prophets and priests who are so preoccupied with their own needs being met that the needs of the people are being ignored. We read: "From the least of them even to the greatest of them, everyone is greedy for gain, and from the prophet even to the priest everyone deals falsely. And they have healed the brokenness of my people superficially, saying, 'Peace, peace,' but there is no peace" (NAS).

A common characteristic of an abusive religious system is that the real needs of the people are lost in the never-ending quest by the leaders for personal fulfillment and gain. The 21^st century church has a lot more clergy that are more concerned about building empires and monuments around their names. These ' false prophets' purporting to be representatives of God oppress the very image of God (his people). This is evident in the contrast of their professed theology versus their practiced theology. 

While they claim the Kingdom of God is not governed by democracy, rather by Theocracy they do the opposite of what "Theo" (God) values represents. They practice fascism to bring parishioners under subjugation and repress their freedoms.

Their popular claim that the church is under Theocracy is an attempt to avoid scrutiny and accountability which is a key requirement of good governance and its values of consensus oriented, transparency, participation, equity and inclusiveness; not only in governmental institutions but also the private sector and civil society organizations which must be accountable to the public and to their institutional stakeholders. 

While we all agree that some of the clergy has failed in its sacred duty to show us the paths of truths, I submit that every individual has a moral obligation to pursue the truth. For a long time, we have relegated this sacred duty.

I wonder what would happen if each person made it their personal responsibility to interrogate the bible for themselves. How would our society be different if we followed the Word of God instead of men of god that have a form of godliness but without the power and the anointing of God.

Imagine how different our lives would be if we learnt to hear God for ourselves instead of running around every byway and highway looking for ‘prophets’ to confirm if our names are in the book of life.

I strongly believe that its time believers of all walks of life took back the power they have so blatantly given over. My clarion call is for individuals to get back to the place of dominion and rulership and that will only happen when we spend time in study of the Word; don’t take a preacher’s word for it, look up if what they’re teaching is biblical and most importantly have the courage to defy regurgitated information that has no basis in the word of God.

It is time to ditch religion and embrace spirituality. Religion focuses on man’s effort to touch God while spiritualism focuses on God’s effort to touch man. All this craziness going around in the church will end the day we favor freedom (spiritualism) over law (religion).

m.

courtesy

MY PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

A story is told of a young woman's faithfulness and commitment to her love in the middle of  despair, betrayal and heartache. the story goes that this young lady held on for years waiting for her love to come because of a promise. it was a solemn promise made in truth and honesty and she believed that against all odds, the love of her life would somehow surface and she would live happily ever after. sounds perfect, right? yet another story is told of another young woman who meets the love of her life at a ball, well a dance if you may, and the prince got so enthralled by this woman he danced the night away with her. as the clock struck midnight, the maiden had to leave but alas, she left her sandle behind. unabashed, the handsome prince scoured the entire kingdom looking for the maiden who could perfectly fit in the sandel he had. well, he finally did find her and they lived happily ever after or did they? that is one thing we will never ascertain because we do not get to read the ever after. i do however think in the ever after, there are days of tears, sadness, anger, betrayal perhaps along with the endless joy and pure bliss.

we read this stories with awe and wish our own stories were as perfect or nearly as thrilling. truth be told, if life would work exactly as we had imagined, many of us would certainly not be where we are today. we would have crafted our lives to fit the perfect mound. but it is not so. life has dealt a hand that some of us didn't expect or imagine. we have a whole lot of folks that are still reeling from the aftershock of their mistakes and wrong choices and they seem to sink deeper into the mire as the day goes by. we have some folk who are basking in the glory of the good times that life throws at them time after time. such is the imperfection of life; while some are still trying to understand the ramifications of some ill thought choices others are happy and grateful that they were able to avoid some pitfalls that their friends fell in. recently, i was mulling over the imperfections that make our lives so perfect. i was taking stock of my life and though i realized it did not turn out like i had perfectly imagined at 18, it has turned out imperfectly perfect. my many nights of darkness and sorrows, tears and uncertainty have given way to confidence, perception, aggression and purpose. i look back and i think, it had to be that long, bumpy, exhausting road. i just don't see how my mind would have transformed without the bumps along my path.

And if you are like me, you will realize that it is not your perfect life that has brought the phenomenal growth or aggression but rather its the bumps, valleys and mountains along your path that has led you to the point where you are at now. Any soldier worth his salt has scars on his body which only signify the battles he fought and got out alive.  Many will show the scars with pride as they narrate their close shave with death and that exactly how we should wear our imperfect lives-with pride.

you have had a few bad runs in the past...so what? those are not the things that define you unless you choose to let them define you. i need to say this again... bad choices do not define you and while at it let me also say that good choices don't define you either. i know of some awesome people that have made very awful, pathetic decisions and i also know of some awful people who have made some pretty good choices. you are defined by who you perceive yourself to be; your essence, the small things about you that make you..YOU. The thing is to step back and separate yourself from the choice. A good friend of mine once told me 'you are what you answer to'. i think thats one of the truest statements that i have heard in a long time. when we take back the power we have given to other people, to situations and circumstances then and only then shall we sincerely appreciate our imperfect lives..

bottom line, your life is not perfect but it is the imperfections that have molded you to the person you are right now. perfection is over rated, celebrate your perfect imperfections.

m.

I DREAM OF FREEDOM

At the city gate and by your fireside I have seen you prostrate yourself and worship your own freedom, 

Even as slaves humble themselves before a tyrant and praise him though he slays them. Ay, in the grove of the temple and in the shadow of the citadel I have seen the freest among you wear their freedom as a yoke and a handcuff.

 And my heart bled within me; for you can only be free when even the desire of seeking freedom becomes a harness to you, and when you cease to speak of freedom as a goal and a fulfillment.

You shall be free indeed when your days are not without a care nor your nights without a want and a grief,

But rather when these things girdle your life and yet you rise above them naked and unbound. And how shall you rise beyond your days and nights unless you break the chains which you at the dawn of your understanding have fastened around your noon hour?

Khalil Gibran (The Prophet-Freedom)

As an avid reader and a lover of literature and poem, the above is perhaps one of my favorite pieces. i get lost reading this literal masterpiece. this great poet alludes that true freedom is found only when we find the freedom within us; when we loose the bonds that tie us down and like a phoenix rising from the ashes, ascend to the heights of awareness and actualization of the greatness that lays dormant within us.

While thinking about the notion of freedom, I have for the past few days realized that freedom isn't freedom until we extend to other people the opportunity to say no to us. We must allow other people to say no to us just as much as we must allow ourselves to say no to the things or people that don't add value to our lives. For a long time, I thought I walked in liberty or freedom until I realized a few months ago that I didn't allow others to make their choices.
We all have an opinion or idea of how great things would be if others would line up or toe the line. What we forget is that by having a predetermined idea of how others should perceive us or the choices that the others should make, we are in essence limiting ourselves to that particular modus operandi meaning that we begin to limit our success or happiness to the occurrence of certain decisions made by other people.

I am a follower of Christ and in my study of the holy book, I have deduced that the greatest gift given to mankind is liberty. It is in liberty that we have been redeemed. We are constantly reminded that liberty comes with the opportunity to choose. No one is compelled to be a believer, we get to make that choice and all we are asked is to confess or consciously acknowledge that choice. I have come to realize that we confess not so that we remind God that we are in his fold, no rather,  we confess so that we remind US that there is a choice that we have made. Whatever we constantly confess forms a belief  system because our brains are wired to believe any information it's exposed to and it doesn't matter whether this information is negative or positive; the brain takes it in and our belief system become a mindset.  Now, our success or failure will not be determined by what others believe about us, but by what we believe about us. Faith comes by hearing. ..doubt comes by hearing. ..success comes by hearing. ..The point am making here is that the information we expose ourselves to determine the output from our lives. it then goes without saying that your choices determines the quality of your life.

So, I was talking about liberty and allowing those around us to make their decisions. This point hit home just other day, I had an item that I was trying to sell off to my colleagues at work, I kept moving from one lady to the next convincing them that they needed to get it (well, and also because i badly needed someone to take it so i could get a replacement). After going round I finally settled on one that I thought without a doubt would take it and I wasn't prepared to take no for an answer. Well, we did haggle for a while with me telling her she has to take and her insisting no she didn't want to. This caught the attention of my immediate boss who sits across me. To cut the long story short, she came... she saw and she took. She made a comment that hasn't left me yet. She mentioned how I had bypassed her in my quest. In all honesty, I only bypassed her because I assumed that she would not be interested. i made the choice for her without giving her the opportunity to decide for herself. And that's just the thing. We are constantly making decisions for people instead of giving them the opportunity to choose.

You need to allow people to make the choice to love you, hang out, do business with you or even celebrate you. Let that person decide to follow your vision or your dream. Don't make assumptions that they want what you want because in essence you will be reducing that person to a marionette at the very best. Realize that when they do make a choice and that choice does not include you, that a no is as good as a yes. Understand that as a free moral agent, that person is allowed to say no to you. Don't hate them for that. Appreciate that they are confident enough to exercise their liberty and make a choice. Who knows, in time they might change their mind and the no become might become a yes or maybe they might not change their minds and that's still ok because your happiness or success cannot be limited to another's decision. choose to be happy, successful, loving, faithful and valiant despite of the odds stacked against you. again the keyword here is CHOOSE.

What am saying is freedom isn't really freedom until we are free to say NO and also accept a NO. Freedom isn't really freedom until we allow ourselves to make mistakes and more importantly rise up from those very mistakes and become.
Live life, quit being afraid of your own shadow!

Explore life, discover your limits then defy them. Now, that's freedom. 

m.